Statements to make you smile
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
God must love stupid people; He made so many.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
...."Don't let yesterday use up too much of today."