Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah.
He died not knowing that he would win the 'Coolest Headstone' contest.
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me
An Irish man went to confession. 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession.and I had sex with Fanny Green twice.'
The priest told the sinner, 'You’re forgiven if you say three Hail Mary's.'
Soon, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months.'
This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Fanny Green?'
'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied.
'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.;
At mass the next day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.
The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was very short,. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman sat.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Fanny Green?'
The bug-eyed boy who couldn't believe his ears managed to calmly reply,
'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from the stained glass windows '.
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?
The operator in a calm soothing voice says: " Just take it easy. I can help. First make sure he's dead." There is silence, then a shot is heard.
The guys voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?'
netsh wlan set hostednetwork mode=allow ssid=Gordon key=Wood netsh wlan start hostednetwork
Now with Windows 7 you can share your internet connection as an access point with the the drivers that came with Windows 7, Windows also installs the Microsoft Virtual WiFi Miniport Adapter
To configure it use the Command Prompt in Administrator elevated:
netsh wlan set hostednetwork mode=allow ssid=itgeekdiary key=typepassword
netsh wlan set hostednetwork mode=allow ssid=Gordon key=1111111111
This configures a Wireless Lan network with SSID “itgeekdiary” and protected with the key “typepassword”
Enable Internet sharing on your internet connected network card, in my case that is the Wireless Network Connection modem card. Select the virtual Wifi as home networking connection,
Open the virtual miniport wifi adapter properties and uncheck all except IPv4
And at the command prompt type:
netsh wlan start hostednetwork
That’s it !!!
if you want to disable, at the command prompt:
netsh wlan set hostednetwork mode=disallow ssid=itgeekdiary key=typepassword
A small boy has a school home work question to answer, so he asks his father " Hey Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?"
His Dad thinks for a while and then says "Righto son.....go and ask your mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a million quid."
The boy trots off and comes back saying "Dad, Dad, she said she would! She would sleep with David Beckham for a million pounds."
"OK, son," says his dad. "Now go and ask your sister the same question."
The boy toddles off, and comes back saying "Dad, Dad, she said she would, too!"
So, then his dad says "Right, son, now go and ask your elder brother if he'd sleep with David Beckham for a million pounds."
The son comes back excitedly saying "Dad! Dad! He said he would too!"
"Well, there you have it, son," said his dad. Theoretically, we could be sitting on three million quid. Realistically, we're living with two tarts and a poof."