"Humour for all Occasions" is about friends sharing stories. Please enjoy & get more on "Learning About Business" at Performance Controller.com.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Blond Screen Saver

How does a blonde hide a picture that she accidentally installed as a background on her computer, and she doesn't know how to delete it?

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Prawns caviar and spice

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!!

People stopped coming over to visit - Repairmen refused to work in the
House and even the maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!


Friday, January 12, 2007

Welland Canal Bridge

The accident happened in 2001. involving ship called Windoc.

The vessel's name comes from the city of Winnipeg, where the owner's head offices were based. The fleet suffix doc refers to the Dominion Of Canada.

In 2001, while traveling through the Welland Canal, Windoc collided with Bridge 11 in Allanburg, Ontario. The accident produced a large fire on board, shredding the lift-bridge, and tearing the bridge off the vessel. No serious injuries were reported.

Two crew members reported minor injuries. ...amazingly

Welland Canal is between Lake Erie and Lake Ontsrio The bridge operator was impaired


The track is called: Sailing home.by a dutch singer PIET VEERMAN

On 11 August 2001, the operator was on his scheduled day off and had completed two 12-hour day shifts during the previous two days. The operator took two Darvon-N tablets at approximately 0800 that morning to relieve back pain and had consumed between two and four glasses of wine around lunch time. Between 1300 and 1400, he received a telephone call from an SLSMC team leader, who asked if the operator would agree to work an overtime shift that evening on Bridge 11. The bridge operator agreed. ... After the telephone call, the operator relaxed, ate, and tried to get some sleep but did not sleep.
Drugs, alcohol, and sleep deprivation. Not a good combo.

Even if the captain might have been partially at fault (e.g. being late for the appointment), I believe the bridge operator is at fault. It looks like his bridge moves quite fast: it is going down at the beginning of the video, and quickly goes back up when the ship chimney crashes into it.

Definitely more reactive than a big boat with all its inertia. So, the operator should be responsible for ensuring no big, slow, hard to stop ship is headed towards him before lowering the bridge.

Selected comments edited from http://reddit.com/info/ubsw/comments