"Humour for all Occasions" is about friends sharing stories. Please enjoy & get more on "Learning About Business" at Performance Controller.com.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Digestion suggestion

Drinking Warm Drinks With Meals

For those who like cold water, you are in danger.

After a meal cold water will solidify oily stuff you consume and slow down digestion. The acid breaks down this 'sludge first which is absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food, This lines the intestine and turns into fats that can lead to heart attacks and cancer.

Try a hot drink after you meals.

Heart attacks symptoms

Common Symptoms Of Heart Attack.
(A serious note about heart attacks)

You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep.

Be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Choice of words

The boss had to fire Debra or Jack.

It was impossible because they were both super workers.

Rather than flip a coin, he decided it would be the last one in the next morning. Jack was early but Debra came in late with a horrible hangover and went to the water cooler to take an aspirin.

The boss approached her and said:

"Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off? I feel like shit this morning," she replied before he could continue.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Kennedy & Lincoln

Have a history teacher explain these Amazing Coincidences ----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater. Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Kennedy assassination
Oswald Assassination