An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 yeas. On her return, her father cursed her heavily.
Where have you been all this time, child? Why didn’t you or drop a line? Why didn't you call? Can you understand what you put your old Mother thru?'
Crying she sniffed ...Dad.I became a prostitute.'
'You what!!? Get outta here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad... as you wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, and title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate.
For my little brother, this gold Rolex.
And for you, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club.. (takes a breath). and an invitation for you all to spend New Years Eve on my new yacht in the Riviera .'
With a change of tone her Dad asked. What was it you said you had become?'
Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff... a prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'
'Oh! Be Jesus! You scared me half to death, girl!
I thought you said a Protestant.