Wants to Keep It

Hillbilly, Herman James, was drafted by the Army, and on  the first day as an enlisted man, he was given a comb. The following  day, the Army barber sheared all of his hair off. On the third day, the Army gave him a toothbrush. The next day, the  Army dentist yanked several of his teeth out. On the fifth day, he was given a jock strap. That afternoon, Herman  disappeared, and the Army is still looking for him.