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Friday, February 8, 2013

A few Friday quickies to end the week with a laugh

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everybody at the party; A bitch sleeps with everybody there except you.

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What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

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What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?

A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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What is the biggest problem for an atheist?

No one to talk to during orgasm.

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What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?

A mechanic.

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Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

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Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?

The one who can eat the last donut.

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Jewish dilemma:

Free PORK.

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Three words men hate to hear most during sex:

'Are you in?'

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Three words women hate to hear most during sex:

'Honey, I'm home!'