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Sunday, January 27, 2013

Rural Australian Computer Terminology

A  little  bit of Aussie   Kulcha.....  

LOG ON:                          Adding wood to make the barbie hotter. 
LOG OFF:                         Not adding any more wood to the barbie. 
MONITOR:                       Keeping an eye on the barbie. 

DOWNLOAD:                 Getting the firewood off the Ute. 
HARD DRIVE:                 Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies. 
KEYBOARD:                     Where you hang the Ute keys. 
WINDOW:                          What you shut when the weather's cold. 
SCREEN:                           What you shut in the mozzie season. 
BYTE:                                What mozzies do. 
MEGABYTE:                   What Townsville mozzies do. 
CHIP:                                 A bar snack. 
MICROCHIP:                 What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips. 
MODEM:                         What you did to the lawns. 
LAPTOP:                         Where the cat sleeps. 
SOFTWARE:                    Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster. 
HARDWARE:                 Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart. 
MOUSE:                           The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed. 
MAINFRAME:                 What holds the shed up. 
WEB:                                 What spiders make. 
WEBSITE:                       Usually in the shed or under the verandah. 
SEARCH ENGINE:       What you do when the Ute won't go. 
CURSOR:                       What you say when the Ute won't go. 
YAHOO:                            What you say when the Ute does go. 

UPGRADE:                    A steep hill. 
SERVER:                       The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch. 
MAIL SERVER:             The bloke at the pub who brings out the counterlunch. 
USER:                               The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK:                   What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE:                  What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.
ONLINE:                       Where you hang the washing.
                      Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough