Logical

Two Irish builders (Patrick and Seamus) are in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits
on a stool at the bar.
They start to speculate about the occupation of the suit

Pat: - I reckon he's an accountant.

Seamus: - No way - he's a stockbroker.

Pat: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself until the volume of beer gets the better of Pat. In the toilet he sees that the suit at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.
Pat: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
Pat: - Oh? What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Pat: - Er ... mmm ...... well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?
Pat: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Pat: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Pat: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ....... built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical that you haven't built it just for yourself so you are
probably married? And with a family?
Pat: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Pat: - Yep! Five times a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often?
Pat: - Do what? Not me, mate!
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Pat: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Pat: - I see! That's pretty impressive.. Thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate.
Seamus: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Pat: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Seamus: - What's that then?
Pat: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Seamus: - Nope
Pat: - Well then, you're a wanker