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Friday, November 11, 2011

Has the cat got you Tongue? they asked.

imageCalling in sick no matter how legitimate my excuse, I always feel my boss thinks I'm lying.

Recently, I had a valid reason but the truth was too humiliating. So I just said I had a head injury, and reasoned, I could think up something later to explain how it happened.

The accident occurred mainly because wife's adopted a cute little kitty.

On that morning, while in the shower she call out to me from the kitchen.

'Honey! The garbage disposal is dead. Please come & reset it.'
'You know where the button is,' I protested still in the shower .
I'm scared!' she persisted. 'What if it starts and sucks me in?'
There was a pause then, 'C'mon, it'll only take you a second.'

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping my silent outraged nudity would show how I perceived her behaviour as cowardly.

Sighing, I stuck my head under the sink and it was the last I remember.

Without warning, at the precise moment I was most vulnerable, our new kitty leapt at the toys dangling between my legs and snagged them with her needle-like claws

I lost all rational control of orderly bodily movements, and rising violently rate, as the the full weight of a kitten delivered indescribable pain to my testicles, my head hit the sink so forcefully it knocked me out cold.

I awoke, to find my wife and some paramedics standing over me. There are not many things in this life worse than lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics.

Even worse the paramedics, who by now knew the story, did their work, while unsuccessfully attempting to suppress their hysterical laughter.

But I lived through it all and few days later I made it back in to work.

My colleagues tried to coax an explanation but I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about. .

What's the matter?' They asked, 'Did the cat bite your tongue?'
“Something like that,  I said