The Answers to the 5 most FAQs

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.

Q:WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them to make a Goodyear tire

Q:WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house ans car .

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING ?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...

BONUS

Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

3 Kids Fishing

Julia "BIG~RED" Gillard (The Australian Prime Minster) was out walking one morning. Crossing a bridge she tripped and fell over the railing into the river below.

Before the security guys could get to her, 3 kids fishing pulled her from the water. She was so grateful she offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, I want to go to Disney World & Julia said, 'No problem, I'll take you there in my Royal Australia Air Force plane.

The second kid said, I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. Julia said, I'll get them and even have Michael Jordan sign them.

The third kid said, I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.

Julia a little perplexed said, but you don't look handicapped.

The kid said I will be when my dad finds I saved you drowning.

Simple Truths

SIMPLE TRUTH 1  Partners help each other undress before sex. However after, they dress on their own.
Moral In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2  When a lady is pregnant, her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats". But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job". 

Moral Hard work is never appreciated.

 

Editorial comment Guys I think we should start an affirmative action group against discrimination of men...We work hard and need our penis rubbed too.

I didn’t know cockroaches starve when beheaded

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home ; maybe at work.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life....quality over quantity.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing..) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.In other words, send it to everyone! (and God love that pig!)

CELL PH0NE - SERIOUS WARNING...

I do this all the time! I guess I won't be doing it ANY more !

A few days ago, a person was recharging his mobile phone at home.

Just at that time a call came in and he answered it with the charging Instrument still connected to the outlet.

After a few seconds electricity flowed into the cell phone unrestrained and the young man was thrown to the floor with a heavy thud. As you can see, the phone actually exploded.

His parents rushed to the room only to find him unconscious, with a weak heartbeat and burnt fingers.

He was rushed to the nearby hospital, but was pronounced dead on arrival.

Cell phones are a very useful modern invention.

However, we must be aware that it can also be an instrument of death.

Never use the cell phone while it is hooked to the electrical outlet! If you are charging the cell phone and a call comes in, unplug it from the charger and outlet.

FORWARD THIS TO THE PEOPLE THAT MATTER IN YOUR LIFE!!!!

Whether or not they have a cell phone. They can also inform others who do......

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