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Sunday, September 28, 2014

Book Report

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.

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One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: Cost - $29.99
Clinton: Cost - $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill

Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic:  Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:  Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember anything.

Titanic:  Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica.. Ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:  Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing
.