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Saturday, March 29, 2014

Obsessions

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with five young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said : "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mum, Ann : "Your obsession is with money. It manifests itself in your children's names, Penny, Goldie and Frank.

He turned to the third Mum, Joyce : "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your children's names : Brandy and Sherry.

You even called the cat, "Whisky". He then turned to the fourth Mum June : "Your obsession is with flowers. Your girls are called Rose, Daphne & Poppy."

At this point, the fifth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered : "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Fanny and Willy and go home."

2 comments:

  1. Gordon...
    I guess your Mom was a a category #5, Mr. Wood.
    Very funny.
    Be well.
    Best,
    Larry

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Mr Lawrence Berezen,

    You are so very perceptive to spot that.

    “Believe it or not” my Mom, who was called Marion Elizabeth, after 2 very famous people, always told me to be careful with advice from psychiatrists, lawyers or accountants. And being a practical women who loved her life she with my dad, Athol who was her Robin Hood, would also advise us that when obsessions presented issues, to just go seek medical attention. E.g. in my case especially with some of my compulsive obsessive behavior causing side effects such as potential blindness it just needed an eye doctor and not a shrink to prescribe glasses that fixed that.

    It is curious too that later when we all grew up our sister Virginia became a shrink and married a guy called John. They live quite royally and had one child they called Philip named after some Greek prince. Brother Richard, studied law before he applied that to his advertising career, where he met his wife Paris. They called their 2 children Seka and Hilton. I guess it was no surprise too that our baby sister Florence, who could also sing very well, later entered the noble profession of nursing. There she specializing in tending to wounded soldiers before she married one who was obsessive about recovering. They called their 3 kids Linda John and Lorena.
    And yes you are right about me. I put it down to my early adolescence, when it became quite obvious at sport in my footy shorts that I was well-endowed. But still being quite small of stature, I was enigmatically called Big Johnson, which in turn I guess may have led to my poor vision because it was obsessively overused. That also meant I could achieve nothing better than to become a geek accountant especially with my real name being Gordon. When I married Marg I called her magnet because she attracted me and for some reason we always referred our 3 kid’s as Stud, Muffin and Possum.

    Did you also know you can find some aliens who are all used to deep space temperatures now living in a suspended disbelief state in the fridges of rich people in Hollywood and who sometimes visit the Rockefeller center in NYC in December?

    Larry, I always love it when you stop by and comment.

    Cheers Gordon

    ReplyDelete

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