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Friday, April 13, 2012

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

imageThe day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven...He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.

St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. But before I anyone can get into Heaven.they need to pass a small entrance exam. It will be no problem for you ' Forrest

He responds with, 'It sure is good to be here, sir.. Life for me was a big enough test so I would sure hope that the test isn't too hard. .'

St.. Peter continued, Ok Forrest, the test is only three questions, here you go.

  • First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
  • Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
  • Third: What is God's first name?

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.'

Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow..'

The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?'.

'How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'

Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'

Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '

'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name'?

'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.'

'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. 'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'

'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song,

  • ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
  • ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
  • ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'