An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the artist: “Paint me with diamond ear-rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach and a gold Rolex.”
The confused artist said: “But you’re not wearing any of those things.”
“I know,” she said. “But if I die before my husband, I’m sure my husband will remarry, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery.”