A wealthy farmer goes on a trip and is met on his return by a faithful servant at the train station.
Boss: "Hello there Reuben, How you been",
Reuben: "Am jes tolerable boss, jes tolerable".
Boss: "Well Rube, what's the latest news"?
Reuben: "Wal boss, the latest news is, the dog died".
Boss: "What"? the dog died, my old dog Rube"?
Reuben: "Yes sir, yer dog it done died"!
Boss: "Oh well, I am sure gonna' miss that ole dog, how'd he die"?
Reuben: "Wal sir he died when he et rotten hoss flesh".
Boss: "Wait a minute"! Rotten Hoss Flesh! How'd he get a hold'a rotten hoss flesh"?
Reuben: "Wal he got a hold of it when the barn done burned and killed all the hosses in thar".
Boss: "WHAT"! "THE BARN BURNED?", "How did the barn burn"?
Reuben: "Wal the barn burned when it caught sparks from the house".
Boss: "SPARKS FROM THE HOUSE"! "Did the house burn"?
Reuben: "Yes sir, I am sorry to say the house done burned too".
Boss: Exasperated, "Well how'd the house burn"?
Reuben: "Wal sir, the house burned when the curtains caught fire from the candles round the casket fer the wake".
Boss: WAKE! Who died?
Reuben: "Wal sir, I am sorry to say yore poor mother-in-law died". [he sort of wipes his eyes and doffs his hat].
Boss: "My Mother in law"?[he smiles] "Oh well, how did my mother-in-law die?
Reuben: "Wal sir, she died of a heart attack when she heard the bad news—----".
Boss: "Reuben, what do you mean bad news"? "All you have been telling me is bad news"!
Reuben: "I don't know how to tell you this sir, but your wife done run off with the new hired hand".
Boss: "WHAT"? "MY WIFE RAN OFF WITH NEW HIRED HAND"! "Reuben I asked ya the latest news, why didn't you tell me this in the first place"?
Reuben: "Wal sir ya asked the latest news and the latest news is the dog died"...