What does marriage really mean?

There are definably a lot of people with much to much time on their hands to come up with these “What does marriage really mean” cartoons.

Senior citizens didn’t take the melody out of music!!

With a few exceptions this about says it all. Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world,  real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took: The melody out of music,  The pride out of appearance,  The courtesy out of driving,  The romance out of love,  The commitment out of marriage,  The responsibility out of parenthood,  The togetherness out of the family,  The learning out of education,  The service out of patriotism,  The Golden Rule from rulers,  The nativity scene out of cities,  The civility out of behavior,  The refinement out of language,  The dedication out of employment,  The prudence out of spending,  The ambition out of achievement, God out of government and school.  And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and  tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!! YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!  I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m.  I'm very good at opening childproof caps.... with a hammer.  I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.  I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.  I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...  I'm aware other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine.  I'm so cared for -- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care. I'm not really grouchy,  I just don't like traffic, waiting in long lines, crowds, lawyers, unruly kids barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now. I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.  I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg. I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.....  I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.  I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen? I wonder, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?  And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?  I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door. Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!  Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them, but I would send it to many more too! Now- Have I already sent this to you??????? If so, I'll try not to do it again (for a while.) I love this little fellow.  Have a great week. "Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up"

THE GYNECOLOGIST WHO BECAME A MECHANIC

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO
paperwork, and was burned out.  Hoping to try another career where
skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a  mechanic.
 

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes,
attended diligently, and learned all he could.  When the time of the
practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for
weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came
back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"   "The instructor said, "During the exam,you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50%of the mark."  

   After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler,which I've never seen done in my entire career".

The Irish Prostitute

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 yeas. On her return, her father cursed her heavily.

Where have you been all this time, child? Why didn’t you or drop a line? Why didn't you call? Can you understand what you put your old Mother thru?'

Crying she sniffed ...Dad.I became a prostitute.'

'You what!!? Get outta here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad... as you wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, and title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate.

For my little brother, this gold Rolex.

And for you, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club.. (takes a breath). and an invitation for you all to spend New Years Eve on my new yacht in the Riviera .'

With a change of tone her Dad asked. What was it you said you had become?'

Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff... a prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'

'Oh! Be Jesus! You scared me half to death, girl!

I thought you said a Protestant.

The Times We Live In (Computers)

When we watched the Simpsons and laughed, we realized dysfunctional society was the norm. Everyone else was of course – but not normal old us. Now we laugh at a differed form of dysfunctional behavior as all generations are either addicted to their computers or still ok as a bunch of Luddites. My son, Trevor Wood, at http://SawbonesOnline.com, and now a seasoned cartoonist,  taught me to see the best humour is the stuff that sends up real life. Trish Stevens sent this on today and it has reaffirmed his lesson.- Enjoy