Stories with a moral

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their Parents to  tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff:? spilled milk and
pennies saved.? But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Johnnie was left.

'Jonnie, do you have a story to share?'? 'Yes ma'am.? My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen.? She was a pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.? She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.? She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her Parachute landed her
right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.? She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.'

'Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.? 'What did your daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?'?

'Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking.'

Life is for living photo collection

Here is a collection of photos of the young at heart. it is subtitled Live  long enough to be a REAL concern to your  kids

Wisdom Of A Retiree !!

I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired? Well..I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine.

9/11 in the US never leaves the news

Detective Greg Semendinger discusses with Rachel Maddow newly released photos he took of the collapsing twin towers of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The also is story is this MSNBC write up.

Older Women Are So Reasonable

After being married for 40 years, i took a careful look at my wife one day and said, '40 years ago we had a cheap flat, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white tv, but i got to sleep every night with a hot 20-year-old girl".

Now i have a $2,000,000.00 home, a $95,000.00 car, nice big bed and plasma screen tv, but I'm sleeping with a 60-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things.'

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 20-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap flat, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.

If you are wondering if the photo is Susan Sarandon. well it is. Not bad for someone over sixty is she? 

Making the most of a Saturday morning.

Quiz Mastermind

Here are some great questions to ask your work colleagues :

First Question

You are a participant in a race.

You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, so you are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??  You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question :

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for the correct answer..... Did you get 5000 ? Well the correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it ?   Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe... 

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,  4. Nono, and ???  What is the name of the fifth daughter? 
 
Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.

Her name is  Mary! Read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round,

i.e., a final chance to redeem yourself:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

It's really very simple. He opens his mouth and ask for it...

Does your employer actually pay you to think??

If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!
PASS THIS  ON TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!