Engineered Medical Service

An engineer could not find a job, so he opens a medical clinic with a sign that says

“Get Cures for $50, or Get $100.”

A doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to show up the engineer and earn a quick $100. so he visits the clinic, claiming to have lost his sense of taste.

The Engineer asks his Nurse to bring the medicine from box no 22 and place 3 drops in the patient's mouth.

Patient (doctor): spits out the medicine, saying "This is not medicine, its gasoline".

Engineer: Congratulations, you have your taste back. That will be $50 please?

The Doctor annoyed, returns after several days to recover his money, this time claims he has lost my memory and can't remember a thing.

Engineer: Nurse, please get box 22 medicine and administer 3 drops in the patients mouth.

Doctor: "That medicine is for the sense of taste" protests the doctor.

Engineer: Congratulations, your memory is back.. ..That will be $50

After several days the Doctor, now very angrily, returns for one last try, this time claiming his eyesight has become weak.

Engineer : I don't have any medicine for that. Please take this $100

Doctor : But that is $50 note.

Engineer: Congratulations, your eyesight has got better.That will be $50 please?

~0000~

Coincidental Celebration - Fancy that eh?

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too! ”

“What a coincidence,” he said, “This is a special day for me, I’m celebrating.”

“This is a special day for me, too, and I’m also celebrating!,” says the woman.

“What a coincidence,” says the man.

As they clinked glasses he asked, “What are you celebrating?”

“My husband and I have been trying for some time to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I’m pregnant!”

“What a coincidence,” says the man. “I’m a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally laying fertilized eggs.”

“That’s great!” says the woman, “How did your chickens become fertile?”

“I switched cocks,” he replied.

She smiled and said, “What a coincidence!”

~oooo~

Miss Daisy

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This  woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

Write it down - it’s a good one!!

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.  During a checkup, the doctor tells them they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.

'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream please? she replies'

'Sure....'

'Do you think you should write it down so you remember ?' she asks.

'No, I can remember that.'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget?'

You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I can remember that.

'Yes and I'd also like whipped cream on it too. I'm certain you'll forget all that, so please write it down?' she says. Irritated,

As he toddles into he kitchen, he retorts , 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment. and says 'Where's my toast ?'

~ooo~

Between the Thorns

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house. After the meal, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said,

'Last night we went out to a  new restaurant and it was really great. . . I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said,  'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know..... The one that's red and has thorns? '

Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,'  replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

~000~