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Thursday, May 12, 2011
Just what the Doctor Ordered!!
DOG FOR SALE
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.
The chalk guy is back!
Positively astounding This guy continues to amaze people with his sidewalk 3D chalk drawings.
Mergers Twister
In the not too distant future,
YouTube, Twitter & Facebook will merge
to form one gigantic, idiotic,
super time wasting, website called...
Friday, May 6, 2011
Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones- A Tale of 2 Docs
decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open
a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist;
they put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and
Posteriors". The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids" This
was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.
"Catatonics and High Colonics".......no go.
Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"......thumbs
down again.
Then came "Minds and Behinds"......still no good.
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes"..
unacceptable again!
So, they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts".....not a chance.
"Nuts and Butts".....no way.
"Freaks and Cheeks".....still no good.
"Loons and Moons".....forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones--Odds and Ends"
Everyone loved it.
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