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Friday, July 24, 2015

Showering with a friend no is longer fashionable– here’s why!

A Shower for Woman  

Take off clothes place them sectioned in laundry basket by lights and darks.

  Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

  If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 

  Check physique in the mirror and make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts.

  Get in the shower. 

  Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

  Wash =hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins...

  Wash hair again to make sure it's clean. 

  Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. 

  Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red...

  Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

  Rinse conditioner off hair.

  Shave armpits and legs.

  Turn off shower. 

  Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

  Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.

  Get out of shower.

  Dry with towel the size of a small country.

  Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

  Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

  If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed are 

A Shower for a Man   

   Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 

  Walk naked to the bathroom.

  If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

  Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

  Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. 

  Get in the shower.

  Wash your face.

  Wash your armpits.

  Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

  Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

  Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

  Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. 

  Wash your hair.

  Make a Shampoo Mohawk

  Wee.

  Rinse off and get out of shower.

  Partially dry off.

  Fail to notice water on floor from curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. 

  Admire willy size in mirror again.

  Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

  Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

  If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy and make 'woo-woo' sound again. 

  Throw wet towel on bed.