"Humour for all Occasions" is about friends sharing stories. Please enjoy & get more on "Learning About Business" at Performance Controller.com.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Short and …. well yes short

- Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up next to a fat bird at least I got home OK!!
- The wife's back on the warpath again, she was up for making a home movie last night – All I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
- My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my fault. I should have taken them off.
- As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!" The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters "Too late pal, the paperwork is already done"
- I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night. "Foreplay" she likes to call it.
- After suffering depression, me and my wife decided to commit suicide . But strangely enough once she killed herself I felt a lot better. So I thought…Sod it….soldier on.
- I woke up this morning at 8 and something was wrong. I got downstairs to find my wife on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. Then I remembered Wether-spoons serve breakfast till 11am