"Humour for all Occasions" is about friends sharing stories. Please enjoy & get more on "Learning About Business" at Performance Controller.com.

Friday, October 26, 2012

One liners

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband!
A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor.
Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and Taramasalata.  It's a double dip recession.
A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as:  "I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort".
The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been
confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mum's.