He says aloud, I wonder what happened to this parrot?'
The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'
'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood me!'
'I got every word,' I am a highly intelligent & educated bird.'
So how how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'
'Well,' its embarrassing I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar. You can't see it because of my feathers.'
'Wow,' 'You really can understand and speak English can't you?'
'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'
So the guy walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
One day he comes home from work and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman.'
'What are you talking about?'
'When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.'
'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'
'Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,'
And she let him?'
'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over....'
Frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'
'Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!'
If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!