The Black Hole

this is GOOO and Its worth it if you have the web on your phone D .  Play and with the sound on. 

https://www.youtube.com/embed/P5_Msrdg3Hk

Moving Puzzle

If you can put this together, say goodbye to Old-Timers Disease!  It's actually quite easy but if you fail your doctor can offer additional testing to check for Alzheimer's.

Seriously It is actually a neat puzzle! so don’t give up if it stretches your brain a bit takes a bit longer.  Sorry, You do have to be on the web to solve it but it is worth it.

Start  Moving Puzzle / Alzheimers Test

A glass of wine

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists demonstrate that if we drink one litre of water each day, At the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor);  because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.

Hence if Water = Poop, and Wine = Health, isn’t it  better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit..

Un-Quotable Quotes

In the 1960s there was a US TV game show called Hollywood Squares. Basically stars were asked questions by the host, and the contestants had to guess whether their answer was correct or not. But the show was the one-liners that the stars answered the question with, before giving their real answer.  Some of the best responses are below.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be ?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness.
(The audience laughed so long it took almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and think he is attractive, is it okay to ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No. Wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you gesture more with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at Nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him .
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

The Elevator

An Amish man and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The man asked, 'What is this, Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'

They watched with amazement, as a fat lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls then opened and the lady rolled into a small room and the walls closed,
The man and his father then watched the numbers light up sequentially. They saw it reached the last number, then light in the reverse order. 
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old stepped out.
Not taking his eyes off the woman, the father, said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your Mother, quick '
 

~000~