"Humour for all Occasions" is about friends sharing stories. Please enjoy & get more on "Learning About Business" at Performance Controller.com.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

No wonder the iceberg won...

No wonder the iceberg won...THE TITANIC… We all think of the Titanic as having been a BIG ocean liner. Well, until now. Size comparison -- Titanic versus Allure of the Seas Cruise Ship 
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Not that big, was it?

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

House work

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Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Janice arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. 

Dinner was on the stove and the table set. She was astonished!

It turns out that Dick had read an article that said, 'Wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.'


The night went very well. The next day, Janice told her Red Hat friends all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Dick even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.'

'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.
'Oh, that............. Dick was too tired.'

God is good
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Monday, June 3, 2013

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Two Fwench Pawatwoopers

Two Fwench paratwoopers were seconded to the British SAS for special training. After the first day they met up in the bar.

"Ah, Pierre ," asks one, "'ow 'av you been doing?"

"Merde!" answers Pierre .. "I 'av 'ad ze most terrible day. Terrible! At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant. 'E dragged me out of bed and onto ze parade ground."

"And zen what 'appened?" enquired his mate.

"I will tell you what 'appened! 'E made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform one and a 'alf metres off ze ground and zen 'e said "Jurmp!"

"And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.

"I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp one and a 'alf metres. Eet is beneath my dignity'."

"And zen what 'appened?" asks his mate.

"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform three metres off ze ground, and 'e said "Jurmp."

"And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.

"I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp three metres. Eet is beneath my dignity'."

"What 'appened zen?" asks his mate.

"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform thirty five metres above ze parade ground. 'E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous weely, and 'e said 'If you do not jurmp, I am going to steek zis right urp your burm!'"

"Sacre Bleu, mon ami" says his mate. "And did you jump?"

"Jus' a leetle, at ze beginning."