Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.
So every day, I go along the street and tell passersby what I have eaten,
how I feel, what I have done the night before, and what I will do after;
I give them pictures of my family, my dog and me gardening and spending time in my pool.
I also listen to their conversations and I tell them I love them.
AND IT WORKS! … I already have 3 people following me: 2 police officers and a psychiatrist.
Daughter: "Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Australia and he lives in the UK. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of relationship through Viber. Dad, I need your blessings and good wishes."
Father: "Wow! Really!! Then get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon and pay through Paypal. And if you are fed up with your husband....sell him on Ebay".
Reporter: “Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101”
Hattie: “For better digestion I drink beer. In the case of appetite loss I drink white wine. For low blood pressure I drink red wine. For low blood pressure I drink scotch And if I have a cold, I drink schnapps”.
Reporter:: “When do you drink water?
Hattie: “I have never been that sick”
“000”
While strolling around the Marina this morning at about 7 am, I noticed a character shouting "Death to all infidels" then suddenly he tripped and fell into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn't get help he would surely drown.
Being a responsible citizen, I informed the Police, the Coast Guard, the Immigration Office and even the Fire Department.
It is now 11 a.m., the terrorist has drowned, and none of the authorities have responded so I'm starting to think I wasted four stamps.
A hand grenade can go off in 4-5 seconds.
Ever hear the saying "throws like a girl"?
Not sure the Indian Prime Minster could say that after his gratuitous gaffe when he said. “I am happy that Bangladesh Prime Minister, despite being a woman, has declared zero tolerance for terrorism.
But it seems US marines are not constrained by #DespiteBeingAWoman political incorrectness. In the (new) Marine Corps (with women in combat), this is what GRENADE TRAINING 101 looks like....filmed on location at Camp Pendelton, CA
watch the live link here. http://i.imgur.com/t3CF25z.gif
To those nit-pickers who argue the meaning of words, is there a medical distinction between Guts and Balls? Both are common use terms, but do you really know the difference? If not, here are the definitions:
GUTS - is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask, “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”’
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and having the Balls to slap your wife on the butt and say, “You're next, Chubby.”
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking however, there is no difference in the outcome. Both result in death.
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