Accident At the Marina

While strolling around the Marina this morning at about 7 am, I noticed a character shouting "Death to all infidels" then suddenly he tripped and fell into the water.

He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn't get help he would surely drown.

Being a responsible citizen, I informed the Police, the Coast Guard, the Immigration Office and even the Fire Department.

It is now 11 a.m., the terrorist has drowned, and none of the authorities have responded so I'm starting to think I wasted four stamps.

The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist

Best friends who had graduated from medical school at the same time decided that in spite of two different specialties they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist.  They put up a sign reading:  "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors." The town council was livid and insisted they change it!

The docs then had a succession of rejections for : "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.", changed to, "Catatonics and High Colonics"... then next came "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives", "Minds and Behinds" ... and "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" ... which were all found to be unacceptable! Even "Nuts and Butts",  "Freaks and Cheeks" , "Loons and Moons" were  considered no good, and met with no way, forget it rebuttals .

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends"
Everybody loved it!

The Haircut

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car.'

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks, his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.

The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair ... and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.'

Dad replied:

'Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?'

How trackers use geo tags in your photo upload from you phone

Are your Kids safe from predators when you snap a pic on your phone ?

According to this NBC news item, not so. 

Cancel your credit card before you die

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Here is the exchange :

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'

Citibank :  'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member  : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Citibank : 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Citibank : 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Citibank: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'

Citibank : 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'

Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' 

Family Member : 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Citibank  : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member : 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given) 

Citibank:  'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member : 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )

After they get the fax :

Citibank : 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member  : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'

Citibank:  'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?'

Citibank : 'That might help.'

Family Member : ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery !'

Family Member : 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???

(Priceless!!)

DENMARK A SAD SCENE

This material was sent to me by Ineke Williams. She is a every good friend and someone who feels very strongly against cruelty to animals and cares deeply about animal welfare.

The following distressing scenes may seem incredible. Even today a barbaric custom continue in Dantesque, in the Faroe Islands of Denmark.

This is a country supposedly 'civilized' and an EU country at that.

For many people this attack to life is inconceivable especially  it is just part of as  custom to 'show' entering adulthood.

It is absolutely atrocious.

No one does anything to prevent this barbarism against the Calderon, an intelligent dolphin that is placid and approaches  humans out of friendliness.

This pictures below show the atrocity. This can be stopped by protesting. to do so add your name and location plus any protest comment you want to in the comments section.

 

Sent by Ineke Williams about Anti- Cruelty to Animals