A Good Scrabble Dabble

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Mathematics of Brown Nosing

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint..it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Now you know why some people are where they are!

Quotable Quotes from Highway Patrol

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."   (My Favorite)
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning?  O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Interesting LoGo trivia...

I was not aware of these things...guess I'll have to start watching logo's more carefully.

If you look at the center of this logo, you can see two people enjoying a Tostito chip with a bowl of salsa. This logo conveys an idea of people connecting with each other.

Formula 1

At first, this logo might not make much sense. But if you look closely, you'll see the number 1 in the negative space between the F and the red stripes. I also love how this logo communicates a feeling of speed.

Milwaukee Brewers

The Milwaukee Brewers is a professional baseball team from Milwaukee , Wisconsin (well, duh.). Their logo is actually made up of the letters M (on top) and B (below the m). These two letters also form a baseball glove.

Northwest Airlines

This simple looking logo actually carries a lot of information. First of all you can see the letters N and W, the first two letters of the brand name. But what most people don't see is the compass that points to the Northwest, another reference to the brand name.

Amazon

This logo doesn't seem to hide much at first sight, but it gives you a little insight in the philosophy behind the brand. First of all, the yellow swoosh looks like a smile: Amazon wants to have the best customer satisfaction. The swoosh also connects the letters a and z, meaning that this store has everything from a to z.

Toblerone

Toblerone is a chocolate-company from Bern , Switzerland .   Bern is sometimes called 'The City Of Bears '.  They have incorporated this idea in the Toblerone logo, because if you look closely, you'll see the silhouette of a bear.

Baskin Robins

The old logo of Baskin Robbins had the number 31 with an arc above it.  The new logo took this idea to the next level.  The pink parts of the BR still form the number 31, a reference to the 31 flavors.

Sony Vaio

Sony Vaio is a well known brand of laptops.  But did you know that the name Vaio logo also had a hidden meaning?  Well, the first two letters represent the basic analogue signal.  The last two letters look like a 1 and 0, representing the digital signal.

Do you see any arrows on FedEx's logo? I saw it a few times at other site saying that there's an arrow hidden in the FedEx arrow, but I couldn't find it. I now know where it is, it's your turn to find. The clue is that the arrow is located in between the alphabet E and X, and the arrow is white, acting as a background.

WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway train next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father,what causes arthritis?' The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living,being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,! sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.' The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned, ' Then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry.I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?' The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

JEWISH POKER CLUB

Six retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up. At the end of the game, Finklestein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his vife?"
They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me."
Goldberg goes over to the Meyer's condo and knocks on the door. The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him he should drop dead!" yells the wife.
"I'll go tell him," says Goldberg.

Knowing a few numbers may help in emergencies

In the fine print on all mobile phones there is very useful information abut function on your phone that could help you a great deal in an emergency

112 is Emergency Number on most Mobile Phones

Most mobile phones can dial emergency calls even when the phone keyboard is locked, or without a SIM card, or an emergency number is entered instead of the PIN.

*4720# increases Nokia battery by reducing sound quality

This may be useful if you phone is nearly dead and you need to make an emergency call.

On some phones call * #06# to get the phone disable code,

If you keep this in your wallet a stolen phone can be disable by the service powder

Other emergency things to know

Reversing your ATM pin informs the police you are being robbed but still gives you the money.

AskAout.com has more to say on Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do. Information like this people don't mind , so pass on this page as a  link .

Do you believe a shonky salesman can still fool all of the people some of the time?

John Lincoln, a mate, who runs a local watering hole, sent me an link inviting me to join Paybox.me. Thus got him $10 if I joined.  In spite of my father’s warning as a kid to be wary of men selling things in pubs

I went ahead and joined.to see how it works and  to see if it was a scam of some sort. I did a story on it on my performance controller blog. if you want to read about it take a look at this link

http://www.performancecontroller.com

Would a mouth gag make the wife a better driver?

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through
clenched teeth, "Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks,"WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

I love this part....

"Only when he's been drinking."

$280,000 Mortgage

Young Joseph had an accident with his bike so for his birthday asked his Dad for new one.

His father said, 'Son,we'd love to but our mortgage is $280,000 and we just can afford it right now.'

The next day Joseph was heading out the front door with a suitcase. His Dad saw him and asked, 'Son, where are you going?'

Joseph replied, “Last night I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. Then I she told tell you to wait because she was coming too.

I'll be damned if i‘ll stay here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no f*#ken bike.”

The look on the dog's face says it all!

A picture is worth a thousand words.The look on the dog's face says it all!

Watch and learn, Women think they’re so smart

Three women and three men travel by train to the football.

At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.

'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of the men.

'Watch and learn,' answers one of the women.
They all board the train. The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, 'Ticket, please.. The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at all!!

'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' says one perplexed man.

'Watch and learn,' answer the women.
When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.

Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding.
The woman knocks on their door and says, 'Ticket, please.'

Now you can see too why women think they are smarter than men.