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Monday, February 28, 2011

A Good Scrabble Dabble

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER


ASTRONOMER
:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER


THE EYES
:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE
:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME


ANIMOSITY
:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY


ELECTION RESULTS
:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT


SNOOZE ALARMS
:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S


A DECIMAL POINT
:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE


THE EARTHQUAKES
:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE


ELEVEN PLUS TWO
:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


MOTHER-IN-LAW
:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Mathematics of Brown Nosing

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint..it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98%

and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96%

But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =
100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 =
103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 =
118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Now you know why some people are where they are!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Quotable Quotes from Highway Patrol

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."   (My Favorite)
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning?  O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Interesting LoGo trivia...

I was not aware of these things...guess I'll have to start watching logo's more carefully.

clip_image001

If you look at the center of this logo, you can see two people enjoying a Tostito chip with a bowl of salsa. This logo conveys an idea of people connecting with each other.

Formula 1

clip_image002

At first, this logo might not make much sense. But if you look closely, you'll see the number 1 in the negative space between the F and the red stripes. I also love how this logo communicates a feeling of speed.

Milwaukee Brewers

clip_image003

The Milwaukee Brewers is a professional baseball team from Milwaukee , Wisconsin (well, duh.). Their logo is actually made up of the letters M (on top) and B (below the m). These two letters also form a baseball glove.

Northwest Airlines

clip_image004

This simple looking logo actually carries a lot of information. First of all you can see the letters N and W, the first two letters of the brand name. But what most people don't see is the compass that points to the Northwest, another reference to the brand name.

Amazon

clip_image005

This logo doesn't seem to hide much at first sight, but it gives you a little insight in the philosophy behind the brand. First of all, the yellow swoosh looks like a smile: Amazon wants to have the best customer satisfaction. The swoosh also connects the letters a and z, meaning that this store has everything from a to z.

Toblerone

clip_image006

Toblerone is a chocolate-company from Bern , Switzerland .   Bern is sometimes called 'The City Of Bears '.  They have incorporated this idea in the Toblerone logo, because if you look closely, you'll see the silhouette of a bear.

Baskin Robins

clip_image007

The old logo of Baskin Robbins had the number 31 with an arc above it.  The new logo took this idea to the next level.  The pink parts of the BR still form the number 31, a reference to the 31 flavors.

Sony Vaio

clip_image008

Sony Vaio is a well known brand of laptops.  But did you know that the name Vaio logo also had a hidden meaning?  Well, the first two letters represent the basic analogue signal.  The last two letters look like a 1 and 0, representing the digital signal.

clip_image009

Do you see any arrows on FedEx's logo? I saw it a few times at other site saying that there's an arrow hidden in the FedEx arrow, but I couldn't find it. I now know where it is, it's your turn to find. The clue is that the arrow is located in between the alphabet E and X, and the arrow is white, acting as a background.

clip_image010

Monday, February 21, 2011

WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

imageA drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway train next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father,what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living,being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,! sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned, ' Then returned to his paper. image

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry.I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'