Letter from Grandma who eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.

Dear  Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our  local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love  Jesus' bumper sticker ..

I was feeling  particularly sassy that day because I had just come from  a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous  prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put  it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an  uplifting experience that followed.

I was  stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost  in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I  didn't notice that the light had changed. It is  a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he  hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found  that lots of people love Jesus! While I was  sitting there, the guy behind started honking like  crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and  screamed, 'For the love of God!' 'Go! Go! Go!  Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader  he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! 
I just leaned out my window and started waving  and smiling at all those loving people.
I even  honked my horn a few times to share in the love! 

There must have been a man from Florida back there  because I heard him yelling something about a sunny  beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way  with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. 
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back  seat what that meant. He said it was  a  Hawaiian good luck sign.

Well, I have never met  anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned  out the window and gave him the good luck sign right  back. My grandson burst out laughing.  Why even he was enjoying this religious  experience!!

A couple of the people were so  caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of  their cars and started walking towards me. I bet  they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but  this is when I noticed the light had changed.  So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and  sisters, and drove on through the intersection. 

I noticed that I was the only car that got  through the intersection before the light changed again  and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all  the love we had shared. So I slowed the car  down, leaned out the window and gave them all the  Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will  write again soon,
Love, Grandma  

Holy E-Mail

One day God was looking down at earth and saw all the rascally behaviour going on. So he sent an Angel to check it out. When the angel returned, he reported that 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not. God thought, 'Maybe I had better send a second angel and get another opinion.' The second angel returned with the same story, God it's true’, she said, ’the earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are being good' God was not pleased. He decided to e-mail the 5% who were good, to encourage them to keep going. I was just wondering if you know what the email said, because I didn't get one either.

Just for fun here is new DEMENTIA QUIZ

I pride my self on my good memory for not to let any duplication creep into this site. But then sometimes I forget. I also forgot the answers to this Quiz. My good mate David Brown also forgot he sent it to me before.

If you have seen it before too don’t worry if you get all the answers  wrong again. That’s the fun part.

FIRST QUESTION:

YOU  ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND  PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU  IN?

~~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~~~

ANSWER :  IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST,
THEN YOU ARE  ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE
SECOND PERSON AND  YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, IN SECOND PLACE!

TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME. NOW ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION, BUT DON'T  TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS
YOU TOOK FOR THE FIRST QUESTION,  OK?

SECOND QUESTION:

IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE....?

~~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~~~

ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU  ARE.....
  WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??

YOU'RE  NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, ARE YOU?

THIRD QUESTION:

SOME TRICKY ARITHMETIC! BUT THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY. DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR. .

TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 NOW ADD 30. ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 .. NOW  ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 10. WHAT IS THE TOTAL?

~~~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~~~

DID YOU GET 5000? THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100...

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT, CHECK IT WITH A CALCULATOR!
TODAY IS DEFINITELY NOT YOUR DAY, IS IT?

MAYBE  YOU'LL GET THE LAST QUESTION RIGHT....  MAYBE...

FOURTH QUESTION:

1. MARY'S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS: 
   NANA, 2 NENE, 3. NINI, 4. NONO, AND ???
2. WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER?
   
   ~~~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~~~
   
   DID YOU ANSWER NUNU? NO! OF COURSE IT ISN'T.
   HER NAME IS MARY! READ THE QUESTION AGAIN!
   OKAY, NOW

THE BONUS ROUND,

THIS IS A FINAL CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF:

A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH. BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE SUCCESSFULLY EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE  PURCHASE IS DONE.
NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WHO WANTS TO BUY A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES; HOW DOES  HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?
_{~~~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~~~}

IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND ASKS FOR IT...

DOES YOUR EMPLOYER ACTUALLY PAY YOU TO THINK??
IF SO DO NOT LET THEM SEE YOUR ANSWERS FOR THIS TEST!