A man come home and sees his wife packing to leave and asks, "What are going?"
She answers, "I'm moving to the city. I heard the prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I'm doing for YOU for FREE!"
Later on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase too.
When she asks where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year."
~000~
An lady decided to treat herself on her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She demanded to know why the charge was so high."I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate', and breakfast had
been included had she wanted it.She insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre available for use."
"But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here," the Manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she
decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But madam, this check is for $50.00."
"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaimed the very surprised Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
~000~
Last year, I replaced, like, all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.
Today, I, like, got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't, like, paid for them.
OMG! Hellloooo,............ Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I'm, like automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year -- that these windows would, like, pay for themselves in a year.
Helllooooo? It's been a year, so they're, like, paid for, I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.
~000~
