DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

The wife  came home early and found her husband in their bedroom  making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she  was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she  cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the  mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce  right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a  minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'  'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words  you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I  was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady  here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and  defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the  car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well  dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten  for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her  home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night,  the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put  on weight. The poor thing devoured them in  moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I  suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed  her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them  away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the  designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't  wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave  her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which  you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I  found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that  you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those  boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear  because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The  husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so  grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her  to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and  said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife  doesn't use?'