Questions - If your Auntie had balls would she be your Uncle?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK..? (then it's you!

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?               

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called  Holes?  
                     
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
                  
Odd, isn't it that a person who plays the piano is called a pianist, but a race car driver is not a racist?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?  Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds; when they already know you're broke?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint you have to touch it to check?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hope there is something new to eat?

Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!  A day without sunshine is,  like...........night!!!!

Moving Puzzle

If you can put this together, say goodbye to Old-Timers Disease!  It's actually quite easy but if you fail your doctor can offer additional testing to check for Alzheimer's.

Seriously It is actually a neat puzzle! so don’t give up if it stretches your brain a bit takes a bit longer.  Sorry, You do have to be on the web to solve it but it is worth it.

Start  Moving Puzzle / Alzheimers Test

Who wants to be a millionaire?

You only need 4 correct out of 10 questions and you could be .

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What colour is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.

ANSWERS)

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8 ) What colour is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)

What do you mean, you failed? Me, too! And if you try to tell me you passed, you LIED!  OR you have seen this one before?

Our Thought Leaders at Large - Dumb it down bit please?

Watch the video by clicking on the picture. You get a good idea about what 1950’s advocate for social reform Bertrand Russell, meant when he said. 

“The fundamental cause of trouble is that the stupid are cocksure, while the intelligent are full of doubt.”

“Startling” word puzzle is simple

Try this at scrabble parties. Ask players to remove from the nine letter word Startling just one letter to make another valid English word. Then from the new word repat this step seven more times till they get it down to one a letter word.

See who can do it or who is the first to get the result.
Here is the answer commencing with the word
1. Startling
2. Starling
3. Staring
4. String
5. Sting
6. Sing
7. Sin
8. in
9. I

Trivia Question

I lost the trivia contest at the church social last night by one point The last question was:

"Where do most women have curly hair?

Apparently the correct answer is:   Africa

The Answers to the 5 most FAQs

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.

Q:WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them to make a Goodyear tire

Q:WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house ans car .

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING ?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...

BONUS

Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

Quiz Mastermind

Here are some great questions to ask your work colleagues :

First Question

You are a participant in a race.

You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, so you are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??  You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question :

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for the correct answer..... Did you get 5000 ? Well the correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it ?   Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe... 

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,  4. Nono, and ???  What is the name of the fifth daughter? 
 
Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.

Her name is  Mary! Read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round,

i.e., a final chance to redeem yourself:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

It's really very simple. He opens his mouth and ask for it...

Does your employer actually pay you to think??

If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!
PASS THIS  ON TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!