Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

Statements to make you smile

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
God must love stupid people; He made so many. 
The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it! 
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
Procrastinate Now!
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

...."Don't let yesterday use up too much of today."