Richard the Brave

This is a long one but worth it!

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Dick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day the brave Richard or Dick to his mates revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Dick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.  Without pause Dick readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Dick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Dick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Dick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Dick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Dick left satisfied and hailed as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Dick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Dick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, and with a laugh, told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the front of the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Dick...    

This was sent to me by my Newfie mate Maz who just said OMG???!!!