A little Scottish humour

Pished 'n swished in Glasgae
A woman goes to the Doctor in Glasgae, worried about her husband's temper
And threatening manner.
The Doc asks: "What's the problem, Janet?
The woman says: "Weeell Doctor Cameron, I dinae know what to do. Every time
Ma hubbie comes home drunk, he threatens to slap me aroon'."
The Doctor says: "Aye, well... I have a real good cure for that. When your
Husband arrives home intoxicated, just take a wee glass of water and start
Swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until
He goes to bed and is sound asleep."
Two weeks later she comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
She says: "Doctor that was brilliant! Evrae time ma hubbie came
Home drunk, I swished with water. I swished an' swished, and he didnae
Touch me even once!
Tell me Doc...wha's the secret? How's the water do that?"
The Doctor says: "Janet hen, it's really nae big secret. The water does
Bugger all - it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick…