Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
Why does someone Believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, Why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
Sanity statistics who one out of four people is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Gordon,
ReplyDeleteGood day, mate.
I love this post. Wonderful! The "human condition" in action.
Why can't we pay a toll by check?
Why can't we cry out, "You did!" when the next company spokesperson begins a mea culpa by saying, "...If we offended anyone by our insensitive, stupid behavior, we apologize. C'mon man.
Hope things are well.
This was a lot of fun.
Thanks.
Best,
Larry
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteLarry,
ReplyDeleteYou bet mate and what makes it even more a C’mon man catch cry is it’s usually a mea maxima culpa when that happens.
Taking about human condition I am sure the remote was placed first for a reason. I wish sales copy lines like that could also grab such attention.
But to be honest when I got to the four billion stars it got to me the most . Ever since, I have been up every night counting them. It’s a whole lot less boring than watching paint dry.
By the way on the mental illness odds deal, I am sorry to tell you that I had to cross you off my best friend list after I visited the sanitarium and made 3 new best friends. C'mon man, you understand I just had to do it.
Larry, it’s always great fun when we do this as always.
Yes all well here
cheers
Gordon