Investment tips

For those with any money left the next big wave will be mergers. So that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks, watch for these consolidations in 2009:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R.Grace Co. will merge as become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa .
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
   
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:Knott NOW!
9. And finally, Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will mergeunder the new name: TittyTittyBangBang

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