Blond Screen Saver

How does a blonde hide a picture that she accidentally installed as a background on her computer, and she doesn't know how to delete it?

We didn't start the fire

If you ike billy Joel (and I do) then you will love this.

http://yeli.us/Flash/Fire.html

Prawns caviar and spice

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!!

People stopped coming over to visit - Repairmen refused to work in the
House and even the maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

Welland Canal Bridge

The accident happened in 2001. involving ship called Windoc.

The vessel's name comes from the city of Winnipeg, where the owner's head offices were based. The fleet suffix doc refers to the Dominion Of Canada.

In 2001, while traveling through the Welland Canal, Windoc collided with Bridge 11 in Allanburg, Ontario. The accident produced a large fire on board, shredding the lift-bridge, and tearing the bridge off the vessel. No serious injuries were reported.

Two crew members reported minor injuries. ...amazingly

Welland Canal is between Lake Erie and Lake Ontsrio The bridge operator was impaired

http://youtube.com/watch?v=YuBv8KAWEmo

The track is called: Sailing home.by a dutch singer PIET VEERMAN

On 11 August 2001, the operator was on his scheduled day off and had completed two 12-hour day shifts during the previous two days. The operator took two Darvon-N tablets at approximately 0800 that morning to relieve back pain and had consumed between two and four glasses of wine around lunch time. Between 1300 and 1400, he received a telephone call from an SLSMC team leader, who asked if the operator would agree to work an overtime shift that evening on Bridge 11. The bridge operator agreed. ... After the telephone call, the operator relaxed, ate, and tried to get some sleep but did not sleep.
Drugs, alcohol, and sleep deprivation. Not a good combo.

Even if the captain might have been partially at fault (e.g. being late for the appointment), I believe the bridge operator is at fault. It looks like his bridge moves quite fast: it is going down at the beginning of the video, and quickly goes back up when the ship chimney crashes into it.

Definitely more reactive than a big boat with all its inertia. So, the operator should be responsible for ensuring no big, slow, hard to stop ship is headed towards him before lowering the bridge.

Selected comments edited from http://reddit.com/info/ubsw/comments

WD-40 - It does all that?

My neighbour just bought home a new beige pickup.
Overnight a vandal sprayed red painted all around the sides of this.
When he got he was so upset until another neighbour told him about WD-40.
I was so amazed when he used it to then simply cleaned it all off.


WD-40 History
The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company.

Its name comes from the project that was to find a “water displacement” compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40.

Convair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you.

When you read the “shower door” part, try it. It’s the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It’s a miracle! Then try it on your stovetop... Voila! It’s now shinier than it’s ever been.

Use WD-40 for that nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn’t seem to harm the finish and you won’t have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.

You’ll be amazed.

P. S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.

Here are some other uses:

) Protects silver from tarnishing.
2) Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4) Gives floors that
‘just-waxed’ sheen without making it slippery.
5) Keeps flies off cows.
6) Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7) Removes lipstick stains.
8) Loosens stubborn zippers.
9) Untangles jewellery chains.
10) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12) Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13) Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15) Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16) Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17) Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes
18) It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor.

19) Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!
20) Gives a children’s play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
21) Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.
22) Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23) Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24) Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25) Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26) Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27) Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28) Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
29) Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
30) Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31) Removes splattered grease on stove.
32) Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33) Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34) Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35) Removes all traces of duct tape.
36) Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
37) Florida’s favourite use is: “cleans and removes love bugs from grills and
bumpers.”
38) The favourite use in the state of New York WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39) WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it’s a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
40) Use it for fire ant bites. It akes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
41) WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
42) Also, if you’ve discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a
tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, Saturate the lipstick spots with
WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!
43) If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.