A few Friday quickies to end the week with a laugh

_____________________________________________________ How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from. __________________________________________________________ What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party; A bitch sleeps with everybody there except you. __________________________________________________________ What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling. __________________________________________________________ What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry. __________________________________________________________ What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. ___________________________________________________________ What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm. ___________________________________________________________ What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic. ___________________________________________________________ Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. ___________________________________________________________ Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? The one who can eat the last donut. ___________________________________________________________ Jewish dilemma: Free PORK. ___________________________________________________________ Three words men hate to hear most during sex: 'Are you in?' ___________________________________________________________ Three words women hate to hear most during sex: 'Honey, I'm home!'